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Ten reasons not smoking here is a good thing

I went to Mahoney’s Wednesday night to see what it’s like on its second day as a smoke-free bar.

I’ve had a soft spot for the place ever since I worked the night cops beat and got off at 11:30 p.m. every night. It was usually fun and crowded, and the bartenders played better music than other places I’d been to in Cedar Rapids. So, being a recovering smoker and curious about a place I frequented not long ago, I checked it out.

It was, yep, smoke free, and kind of quiet in the early evening. Jill, everyone’s favorite bartender, said some smokers were upset about the new rule and vowed to her they wouldn’t come back.

She wasn’t too worried, but she said she still needed some ammunition for when people come in and argue that banning smoking is stupid. She handed me a piece of paper and pen so we could work on some reasons it’s not stupid.

The first is so obvious we didn’t list it: smoking kills people. And before it kills us, it reduces us to dry, shriveled, coughing husks of ourselves. And it smells bad. (Remember, I’m no anti-smoking Nazi. I’ve been smoking since I was 15.  Just tellin’ it like it is.) Here are reasons 2 through 10. This is, um, totally unscientific:

2. You can come in here, smoke out back, and still go home not smelling like smoke.

3. Non-smoking = better-looking customers (think about it).

4. You can see the TVs better.

5. You won’t die with a tube sticking out of your throat.

6. More pretzels.

7. You won’t have to have separate clothes for the bar (see #1).

8. Less being sick (this was Jill’s, obviously).

9. Fresher breath (Jill’s).

10. No loss of libido in middle age (mine).

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9 Responses

  1. Joe Camel says:

    So smoking kills people by the thousands. Everybody knows that because we’ve heard it 50 times a day since 1975.

    But I’m gonna throw a wrench in your delusion. Can you PROVE it ever killed anybody? You’ll have to show me the body.
    Phony numbers are not proof. A pronouncement by a doctor is not proof. Believing it is not proof.

    Are you up to this challenge or are you just gonna keep regurgitating boob tube bool stool?

  2. Smokeless Bob says:

    If the rationale is you need to see a body to believe smoking kills, then you dont believe people go to the restroom unless you see the actual results? Interesting thought process…

    Mahoneys is a better place as a result of this effort and are applauded for doing so.

    Smoking in public is a privilage, not a right!

  3. john doe says:

    Look we all why we started…rite? Sure smoking kills but isn’t it the trill of the chase that keeps us going, we used to sneak out for “breath of fresh air” among other things. We all know the risks; you’d have to be blind and deaf not to know all the risks you take every time you light cigarettes. and that was your choice and yours only. And smoking does not cause as much damage as drugs or alcohol, check out statistics anywhere. You do drugs it ****s up your brain, nervous system and most probably your life if you do something stupid. And if you do alcohol you are slowly ****ing up your liver and possibly kidney and heart, and that is just damage on you. how many times have you heard about drunk driving that’s ended in deaths or someone that was extremely high and ended their life or someone else’s’. so before you have a hissy fit about what smoking does, think about what other drugs do what alcohol does k. when was the last time you heard a kid saying he was ****ed up because his dad smoked, when was the last time you heard about a girl getting raped by her father cause he’d had too many cigarettes. I can name plenty of things that shorten your life but people do them anyway. Honestly get over it or join a parents group or something. Because we all know we started because we thought it was cool and by the time we wanted to stop we couldn’t be bothered or we were to hooked, who cares?

  4. Joe Camel says:

    Smokeless Bob:
    Addendum to my last post: Silly word games are not proof.

    So Mahoney’s is a better place for going along with the Fraud of the Century? For whom? Tobacco Nazis?

    Smoking in public is a privilege granted by Smokeless Bob?
    Interesting thought proceess…

  5. george says:

    After reading this , it seems to prove that smoking does indeed mess up your mind. Using his logic joe camel could not believe in God. And for the kids that dont complain about being messed up because their parents smoked, many of them were hooked on smoking by their parents second hand smoke. So they are messed up too.

  6. Dennis Mahoney says:

    As the owner of Mahoney’s, and the one that has made this call to ban smoking, let’s not lose the focus there John Doe, people have not gotten sick or died from sitting next to a drinker or a pot smoker. This was not a done to save the health of those that want to smoke…I’m not looking to save those deciding to smoke. I guess you have not experienced working in an atmosphere where people blow smoke in your face while you work. Sure, there are other places where people can go to work, but Mahoney’s is the mecca…this is where bartenders aspire to work because of the cool crowds we attract and the off the hook money they make.

  7. One of his Victims says:

    Well said Mr. Mahoney, well said. It’s nice to hear one of the affected business owners speak up. Hopefully, you and your staff will have extended your lives by going-smoke free.
    george, nice to see someone speaking logically. It’s obvious many smokers have no faith based on the ridiculous comments they post. Simple logic proves their points do not add up.
    As for seeing a body of someone that died ass a result of smoking…I’m sure Joe Camel and john doe will be more than happy to allow their families to put their bodies on display when they kick the bucket from one of the many smoking-related illnesses that will eventually do them in. Then other smokers will have something to look at.

  8. Tendress says:

    Mr. Mahoney,

    I applaud you for making this decision and caring about your clientele and personnel. I live in Kansas City and tend bar at a job I’ve held for many, many years. I love my job and where I work, and the idea that I should just go work somewhere else so that smokers can continue to pollute the air inside really chaps my behind.

    It’s as if my job is just one in a series I should have in my lifetime. I’m not a serial bartender. I stay in one place for a very long time. “Go work in a non-smoking restaurant!” My job isn’t just expendable. Nor am I.

    You’ve shown the people in your employ that they are important. Kansas Citians have done the same for us.

    If I lived in Cedar Rapids, I’d probably work for you.

    Thanks again, and keep up the good work!

  9. rob says:

    yes but smoking saves you from alcohol abuse and lowers the sex drive
    god bless

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